Online Dating & Personals    

I'm at a loss as to what all the "I Am Looking For" specifics are; so "Intimate Encounter" is pretty straight forward unless one wants multiple encounters with the same person without strings attached but that apparently means "Other" which is what is kinda intended when one is seeking a "Hang Out" person which is identical to "Dating" except in reverse, in other words, "lets hang out, then screw then bop about the city" as opposed to "lets bop about the city then back to my place, hang-out and then screw, that sucked" which leaves one back at "Intimate Encounter", do you see what I'm saying? It's all so confusing.

Then there's "Long Term" & "Short Term" which everybody requests via the "Friends" route which weedles our way back to "Hang Out" & "Dating". "Short Term" is the most miffling as it could be construed as, with strings attached but see-ya-later in 30 days time but maybe we can still screw the odd day of the week which is "Other" and "Hang Out" combined with just a sprinkle of "Dating" in case screwing may be desired later after a "Hang Out" beer and a "Dating" movie.

The specifics you see the least of are "Activity" partner and "Talk/Email",,, now the latter is what Plenty Of Fish seems to be, an endless exchange of emails but the former is sort of a combination of all the others but akin mostly to the chaste exercise of doing "The Grind", the Grouse Grind that is.

Photo exchange is just plain ha-ha; "this is my cat, oooh these are the twins in their highschool production of The Shining, oh and this is my freshly shorn Va-gina!"
Thanks.

So without further conundrumming,

Wanna Screw?

Confession:
So I was in need one day, snow tends to arouse me like nothing else, and well I tried my hand at setting up an "Intimate Encounter", but sadly or fortunately looking at it in retrospect, I shovelled snow instead, cough,,, uhm, yes well then, there you have it,,, except for those of you who have put me on your favorites list and who have "Must not have contacted Intimate Encounter" people which means if we have we can't make contact, I'm not a snob but rather a lowly soul who sought out a need and am now banished via a javascrapt enabled cookie.

I look like the Voyageur Dude on a pack of ZigZag rolling papers, huge handle bar moustache with a Satans beard, kinda like Robin Hood crossed with an Italian Baker crossed with Joseph Stalin crossed with Svengali and Satan, wearing Helly Hansen raingear, black touque and Wellingtons, gumboots of course. I'm not Athletic nor Average, Strapping apparently but not Beer Barrel, quite fit as my work demands it.

This bit was on my first date section but was too many words,

I'm pretty happy go lucky, really, I just hate people who drive for no other reason than to drive and ultra-healthy, gleamingly white toothed, lulu leamon wearing, plastic wrapped organic food eating, apparently Chopra enlightened but can't smile, outdoor sport enthusiast who feel a need to strap it on the roof and drive. Start from home, avoid being traffic, enjoy the thrill of not parking or tweeeking your alarmed door shut. Oh wOw that felt grrrrrrrreat. Don't get me wrong, organic is great but it's still flown and driven and overly packaged and ridiculously expensive and oddly; have you been around Commercial Drive lately, well for all the Yoga, and Reiki and therapeutic massage and organic eating, the community there is really smug, impolite and unenlightened, did I mention smug, weren't you doing this for "Love & Harmony" just because you're wearing a shirt with Che Guevera on it or Patchouli like a swastika, the nasty one, does not necessarily make you a revoloutionary, and whats with walking your bike with the extra extended wide handle bars down the sidewalk, or your dog on a retractable leash, retract it already so we don't have to play jump rope with Scampy, sheesh, it's sadly changing,,, YaY real estate boom! Real Estate Agents are the true pornographers with the Bankers holding the camera, note sarcasm. This is fun! Is this what a Blog is?

Find Hummers and other atrocious SUV's and pee in their gas tanks or pour sugar in instead, if we did this we could win the $25,000,000 prize being offered by Richard Branson to reduce greenhouse gas by 10 billion mega tonnes every ten years.

Mmmmm, go boating, for real, just write me and say "Take me boating", the non-paddling type. Kayakkers are to the Sea what in-line skaters are to the Seawall at Stanley Park, I hate them I really do, they just sit lower than the waves, lower than a duck, lower than low,,, if they weren't on the water, I could take in the awesome vista that is my locale when working with my boat but nooooooooo, I have to keep my eyes peeled for these floating slivers and always on the nicest days, what's with that.
OK, for those kayakers that I've offended could you please attach one of those orange flags to your kayaks' the ones little kids put on their bikes so cars can see them and stay close to shore at Sunset AND if you are new to kayakking please don't assume that someones beach includes their dock, boat and yard and ask to use the washroom don't just take a dump where you've beached, it happened once, really gross, oh and don't go so far that you have to ask for a boatride back to your SUV be prepared and pack a sleeping bag and tent. The water is for pleasure but some of us work out there too, we like you but can't always see you, I haven't even mentioned the fog as of late so if it's foggy wear a hat made of tinfoil so you'll show up on my radar.

More Kayak stuff, as I really need to beat this dead horse into fine Calabrian Salami.

... nobody thinks about it but Kayaks are all plastic, plastic is oil etc, etc, various resins and polymers, etc. Prior to the tech boom circa 1997, demand for plastic per year for North America alone excluding Mexico was 75 million pounds, it now exceeds 400 million pounds per year, I could go on and on but back to the faux environmentally conscious kayakkers driving their giant vehicles to Deep Cove then leaving their wrappers to their individually plastic wrapped organic pears flown all the way from Venezuela on my beach and always except for once saying hi, a simple "HI!" or ".. mind if I walk about the property?". You're all the same as those Burrard street accountants at Robson Starbucks dressed like bikers with bandanas and their Harleys all lined up,, RIDE THE DAMN THING, what are you scared that you'll run into a client out there?!!! But back to kayakkers; if you really want to enjoy the paddle, hoof it on your shoulder to the nearest body of water or if you live in a 31st floor condo, keep it somewhere near a beach and walk to the kayak at your leisure and paddle it. For no matter how much you want to beleive it, you cannot equally trade your CO2 emmissions for driving to go a paddlin, never, ever, ever
E-VAR!!
Beep, ooo, that would be my laundry